*grumbles* You get /all/ the luck.
Oh sorry, do you want me to take creepy stalker photos from my window of the saggy old tanned dude and his bogan-ish coworker for you to enjoy?
There are shirtless men on the roof of a house I can clearly see outside my window… I really wish they were prettier but they’re not…
I’m feeling physically ill right now but at least my essay on Sylvia Plath is written in Arial font and it is bringing me endless joy and comfort thinking about how lame that joke is.
Fake.
Guys come on…
…come on guys… you don’t even have to Google that to know it’s not real. Everybody calm down. They have already explicitly stated that it will run as an independent entity under Karp as CEO. It’s not going to change.
Your erotic slash fan art is safe!
(Source: idgafimawesome, via fyeah-i-like-dat)
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the fact Tony Stark killed a man over a Dora the Explorer watch.
(via whatbethsays)
watch-as-i-fangirl-all-over-you:
omg maybe he lied to protect us from asylum?
yes. Thats what he did, to protect us.
Who… wh… how could… anyone… but…
(Source: hepkatz, via whatbethsays)
Anonymous asked: I enjoy your sea shanties immensely. There's quite a few things you could do with this drunken sailor, but I'm pretty sure that Pennsylvania is a far cry from where you are. Pity. Your hair and bear are quite magnificent. And the face. Adn the eyes. And everything. Is Australia nice? I think it'd be nice. What's really funny is that I found you in the drunk blogging tag. Are you really a teacher? That's really sexy. I might have my skirt from Catholic school still...drinking is naughty.
Oh surely I only need a few cents to get to Pennsylvania…*
(I always found the schoolgirl fantasy kinda creepy… and now that I am a teacher it’s super creepy. Nice try but hint: take a different approach that doesn’t remind a person of having to constantly be surrounded by children)
Thank you. Australia is indeed nice. Right now it is approaching winter so I get to wear lots of clothes and blog while being under a blanket. There’s… things. Gumtrees? Gumtrees are nice. It’s all nice and hardly anything ever tries to kill me because they know I’m a cool dude. I am friend to all animal kin. Especially bears.
Anonymous asked: Really, I'm already not wearing pants as is part of my writing process. I'm like Hemingway, but without the pants. Then again, I'm not sure if he wore pants when he wrote either, so I could be a modern age, female Hemingway but probably not. Plus pants are so overrated anyway. I have a rough draft on my feminism essay due, but I'm procrastinating with bourbon, writing short musings and sending anonymous messages to sexy Aussies online. I feel like I have my life together. But maybe not.
Write drunk, edit sober - Hemingway.
That’s OK… I was going to write an essay on Feminism too last night but then I got drunk so we’re in the same boat… only I’m sober now.
What shall we do with the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor…
I just realized that the word bed looks like a bed
My brain literally stopped working for a second
(via whatbethsays)
Anonymous asked: You are the most gorgeous man I have ever seen please let us have wild and passionate honeymoon sex all the time but not get married because I don't believe in marriage. And you're Australian. And all those similar things that I am in your mini intro at the top of your blog. Be warned, I'm sort of drunk blogging but its tipsy blogging because I can still spell so if I creep you out, it was the bourbon and I'm sorry. Actually, no. You're still really fucking hot. Sorry not sorry.
Awww yeah someone wants to have sex with me! CELEBRATORY DANCING!
I’m not creeped out at all. This was pretty great, thanks.
